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When we touch on a key desire, we might feel a spark, a feeling of resonance in our chest, or even a jolt..and it might be scary too! After all, if this is a long time buried desire, we have reasons why we haven’t taken it on just yet. Sometimes, the feeling that comes right after we touch on a key aspiration is anxiety - And as surprising as it may seem, it’s the sign that we’re on to something good!
The gift on the other side of anxiety
If you ever feel anxious or blocked, it’s definitely not a pleasant state to be in…
It’s like wanting to dive in a swimming pool and even though we might know it’s safe, somehow we freeze.
So to get out of feeling in this negative state, I want to share 2 steps that have been the most useful to my patients and myself. These offer a reframing of anxiety, and this might just be a reminder for you, but hopefully a good one!
1. Realizing that all our emotions have a positive function.
Even the worst emotions like fear have a key role. If we are going to cross a busy road, then fear is here to protect us so we don’t get hurt. So what is anxiety here for? What does it want us to pay attention to?
Clearly it's a big charge of energy when we feel anxious. Why is that?
Check in for a moment and see if there is something you are anxious about at this time. If so, and whatever it is: something you want to accomplish, a creative project to take on, a new career to explore, a special person to go on a date with or a conversation you know you need to have, if it didn’t matter then you wouldn’t be anxious!
This is the first key and why we need to pay attention. The first message of anxiety is : It matters!!!
And so no amount of general relaxation, yoga or breathing alone is going to solve it until we address the gift inside. It would be like sweeping a treasure under the carpet.There is a gift ready to be found within the feeling of Anxiety, there's a calling: There's a very good reason why this matters to YOU in particular.
It points to the core of your most important desires. So my first piece of feedback here is: Do not ignore it.
- If we sweep it under the rug, then we can get to a state of pervasive anxiety when we don’t even know why we feel this way any longer, it’s just the state we're in..and we can get physically sick if we continue to ignore and repress it.
- On the other hand, we can listen to the messenger and hear it as good news:
There is something important to us, something to be really excited about on the other side of it: meeting love, creating new art, starting a new career we’re passionate about, resolving a communication with someone we care about.
It’s not about getting rid of the messenger, it’s about pulling the thread until we get to the gift that is truly exciting to us!
2.Recognizing that anxiety is a kind of negative visualization
When something feels too big for us, or we don’t know how to go about it, or it triggers fears because it’s similar to situations that haven’t worked in the past, then we start fearing it and our mind anticipate something negative. Simply put, we visualize negatively.
Now the good news is: if we can visualize negatively, so can we positively!
If this is important, AND we start believing that we can achieve it, then the same big emotional charge turns positive and we can start to get excited!
So I hope these steps help to give a context where anxiety isn’t just negative but simply the portal to excitement and enthusiasm.
Now how do we go from Anxiety to Excitement in the easiest way, with the least amount of pain and in the most effective way possible? This is what I will be sharing about next, with practical steps you can follow, that I found most helpful in my practice.